Ok...so I am watching the Home & Away wedding tonight of Belle and Aidan (yes I know but I this is the only soap I really do enjoy!!) Having a bit of a cry (as I do!) at the drama it took for them to get to the altar, say their vows..yadda yadda yadda. Hubby is giving me sly sidelong glances as he knows I will be having a cry but luckily for him (or maybe he knows better now!) he says nothing. Then he asks when we will be getting married. We have been engaged about 10 1/2 years and every couple of years we talk about it and decide we can't afford it yet and there is really no hurry as we know we are committed to each other. We are best friends as well so it's all good. Our parents on the other hand have tried to subtley over the years to persuade us we need to do it sooner rather than later. Lately though hubby has been sort of dropping some hints too and saving money for us to go away for our very first holiday as a couple sans kids. So we are thinking we may just marry quietly in Fiji or one of the Whitsunday Islands or just somewhere with the two of us then throw a massive party for everyone later.
The trouble is it may upset our parents, but to be honest I really have lost my urge to be married since dad passed away as I know now that he will not be there to give me away and that upsets me deeply. I have been chastising myself the past month over not marrying while he was well and could be there for me and now of course it is too late. And of course hubby understands this which is why he is suggesting we go away by ourselves and come back married which would be nice. I am not really the big wedding type of girl. While other girls grow up dreaming of the perfect wedding, with the beautiful dress 20 bridemaids etc I just want a day that has me, my future husband and my close friends and family. On a beach barefoot...with my flowergirls releasing butterflies preferably at sunrise with a nice champagne breakfast. That's it...then off to a nice romantic island for the ultimate indulgence of my husband. So we will think more on it and decide in the next 12 months. Right now its too soon and some family relations are a little strained as Daughter No.1 will be absent as she and hubby no longer speak so that will make things awkward as well.
To be quite frank hubby and I are over all the fighting and bitching hence our need to go on a long holiday for a couple of weeks and perhaps just do something for us instead of us being there for everyone else and putting our needs last. As hubby says, the kids are all over 20 now and what they do with their lives is now completely in their hands. And now I tend to agree. Trouble is I have always been the peacemaker between hubby and his kids but now I think I have had enough and if they can't sort themselves out them I'm not either...they know where we live :)
So I think I will start making plans, suss out some nice wedding deals (I know Fiji does some great wedding things and they organise everything for you if you let them know in plenty of time). We had considered New Zealand but if go there my in-laws will expect us to visit all the rellos over there (hubby's dad is a Kiwi and his relatives all still live there). So again we would feel obliged to go visit grandparents and uncles and aunts and cousins and before we know it our holiday will be over!
Families...can't live with them...can't live without them!
2 comments:
As you know, we "eloped" in NZ. It was just the two of us and Sam, the photographer, the celebrant and his wife. No one else to put in their two cents worth, and our family totally understood.
We celebrated a couple of months later with family and friends (and I got to wear the dress again, too) and that was just the way we wanted it.
Only thing I would change is I would have a cake. Didn't have a cake.
Do it, you won't regret it.
*zetyla*.... um, nope, can't come up with anything for that except it sounds russian! xx
Love froggy idea..Elope them party.
Your dad will always be with you. At the end of the day its about you and mark. So just do it..
love toni
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