Monday, November 29, 2010

My "Whinging" Post - Read on if you Dare

Ok...I'm back. I was going to post last night. I got as far as posting my niece's formal photos then felt a sudden wave of nausea then sepnt the night throwing up! I had been feeling off for the past couple of days and it suddenly hit me last night. Today I had the day off anyway to get some more blood tests and stuff done then next week I have my final Specialist appointment until he needs to see me again in another 12 months. I am SOOOO over doctors and tests and stuff. Sucks to be old! (Well oldish anyway lol)

Anyway this post is more of a woe is me post so please don't feel obliged to keep on reading as basically I am just letting it all out here on paper so to speak. One of my friends at work, who is also a Life Counsellor, suggested I was suffering the beginnings of depression. Pfft! I don't generally get depresed. I get a little melancholy at times but in my opinion it just my way of letting out whatever emotional crisis is going through my head at the time. It has been a tough past couple of years but I think I have held up well and doing the best I can to get through life with as little disruption as possible to myself and those around me. This same friend suggested I also needed to talk about the issues more as I do tend to bottle things up as I don't like to burden people with my problems especially as I know everyone is going through something as well and it just seems selfish. So my little bloggy friend here gets to hear it all!

Firstly, MM's knee. After countless x-rays, ultrasounds, blood test and an MRI they could find nothing wrong with the knee or the shoulder, both of which are giving him huge pain. The shoulder they think is arthritis and the knee also could be even though there is still a huge fluid build up there and there must be a reason why it is so swollen. MM remembers when it happened as he felt the knee click out of place at the time so it was obvious to us that something is not right. The verdict from the doctor? Nothing's wrong, can't do anything about it...take some Nurofen...WHAT?? Are you kidding me? So three weeks later the knee still has fluid although the Nurofen has helped with the pain relief and because they make MM drowsy he is at least finally getting a good nights sleep but our research has shown that taking Nurofen over long periods of time can actually cause futher health problems so MM is about to get a second opinion. He is able to get around much better but he can't be taking Nurofen for the rest of his days. I am really annoyed because it took me so long to get him to a doctor and the first time he goes he gets screwed over. But at least he is suffering enough discomfort that he does want it all fixed. I'll keep you updated on the knee thing.

My baby girl Miss 17 finally gradually last week. Mum and Miss 23 and I went to her Valedictory Celebration where they presented the Year 12's with Awards and a Certificate of Completion. It was so beautiful and so emotional. Miss 17's dance class performed their last dance in front of the parents and one her friends had written a song which one of the Classes sang. They showed the usual powerpoint of their time at the school...full of laughs and cheering. It was nice to see all the Year 12's so close. This Year 12 class were basically all good friends with each other so they all cried and got all emotional! Then they had the handing over of the School Charter to the newly elected School Captains for next year. The School Captain for next was this cute lil thing. He suffers from dwarfism and appeared to be very popular. Miss 17 said he gets spoiled at school by everyone...Everyone takes care of him which I thought was nice. No one dared to bully him apparently. He has plenty of body guards ready to defend him! Nice looking lad too. This year's school captain was a really lovely girl who had to give the closing speech and as you can imagine that was extremely hard for her. Everythime she tried to read from her script she kept breaking down. The male Captain beside tried to take over then he bawled too! Then all the parents started bawling lol. Then everyone had a giggle, the girl apologised and giggled and said ok I'm so sorry about that and the proceedings commenced with minimum tears and a standing ovation at the end.

It was a very sad time for Miss 17 and mum as well as dad had always wanted to be able to live long enough to see Miss 17 graduate. He was so proud of her and her photography and her art work as he used to paint and draw a lot in his younger days and was happy to see she also had artistic ability which seemed to have skipped my generation! For her graduation gift I had found a really pretty locket with butterflies engraved on the front and put a photo of dad in it. She wore it under her uniform so that in this way Dad could be there with her on her special day. She wore it to the formal as well. Poor mum broke down when she saw what I had done as she thought it was a beautiful idea and then Miss 17 fell apart as well lol...ah so many tears for just one day!

She had her formal that night and her date was an old friend she has known since they went to kindy together. This is the same boy her ex-best friend used to go out with and when they broke Miss 17 was NOT ALLOWED to associate with this boy anymore. Miss 17 was basically well that's too bad. I have known C much longer than I have known you and I will be friends with whoever I want. So now Miss 17 and her best friend no longer speak although I think the frost is beginning to thaw as they had their photo taken together and the ex-BF has had about 3 other boyfriends since this one! Miss 17's date leaves for the navy shortly and is taking Miss 17 on a holiday up the coast with his parents as that is his graduation present. None of Miss 17's friends did schoolies. They spent the weekend together at Rydges in Brisbane, had a great time, no alcohol involved as none of them drink and they reckon it was the best time they ever had. Miss 17's date was so cute as he actually asked Miss 17's boyfriend R if it was ok if he took Miss 17 to the formal and to the weekend away. R has become good friends with C as they all hang out together with Miss 17 and her friends and he was fine with it all. R is a couple of years older than Miss 17 but he likes all her friends and they all hang out a fair bit together. So it's good to see some responsible kids. R is also quite religious as is his family and he has already told my mother not to worry about Miss 17 as they have decided they will not have sex until they are married which they figure they will do when Miss 17 turns 21. They have it all planned out. Finish Uni (2 years), travel for a few months, find work, get married, move in together. We'll see how that all pans out. Miss 17 idolises this guy and he her. It's all very sweet really.

Work has been very quiet. My boss has had her first holiday in 5 years and she has known flown to the UK returning in January so with school and kindys closing until then work will be very quiet.

Saturday MM and I went to the Surprise 50th Birthday of one of my dear friends from work. Her daughter emailed me a secret invitation to send around work so quite a few of us turned up. She loved it! She is an absolute riot and extremely funny. I love her to bits! We ended up buying her edible undies which she ate right there and then lol. And a little blow up man where you have to bang on him a few times and he "pops" out of the packet all blown up lol. Hilarious!
It was the first time MM and I had been out for a while and the restaurant was at Shailer Park which is an hours drive from Petrie. But I have Yoda on my Tom Tom GPS now and he was very amusing as we found our way there! Although he did get me confused on the way home and I ended up missing a turn off! Damn you Yoda! MM loves Yoda so he had a great time!

Sunday was meant to be a quiet day for me until we got a phone call from some dear friends of ours asking if they could drop in for a bit before they had to go to lunch. They live at Maroochydore and the Mr has been friends with us, well with MM for over 30 years and with me since I met MM about 12 years. The Mrs has been part of the relationship for probably 2 years. I was good friends with the ex-Mrs but she has now moved to Sydney.

There is a fairly lengthy story that goes with this. About 4 years ago the Mr and ex-Mrs divorced. We were shcoked as they owned a huge palm nursery at Nambour, where very well off and always very much in love. He was step father to her 2 daughters, both girls a bit whacked IMO. One became a model and got involved in the drug scene in Melbourne and the younger one turned out to have schizophrenia and ended up moving to Sydney for work but was not staying on medication and was doing bizarre stuff like running around naked on the snowfields in New South Wales and playing chicken with traffic in Sydney. So she was locked away for quite a bit of time. Both girls were very high maintenance. Suddenly the oldest girl tells her mother that her current husband molested her at 13. Instant divorce. The ex-Mrs came to us crying about it and at the time we told her that we didn't really want to become involved as we were friends with both and we really couldn't see that he would have done it. He was an ex-Victorian cop whcih doesn't mean much but he was always anti-paedophile and used to tell us how he used to love locking away rock spiders.

About a year ago he and the Ex-Mrs finally sold their palm nursery for a large substantial amount of cash. The very next day after settlement went through, the daughter went to a Police in Sydney and laid charges against him. Turns out she is substantially in debt, has a drug addicted boyfriend who apparently "witnessed" the molestation. So the past 12 months he has been going to and from NSW getting legal advice and now will have to go to Court next week. He has been told the minimum time he will serve is 4 years. He and the new Mrs have read the statements. He apparently "touched her boob" which he admits to but says that at the time this daughter was quite promiscuous even at 13 and was wearing a bikini top and she asked him to tie it up. The strap fell down and he went to grab it and inadvertently "touched her boob". She also alleges he felt her up which he categorically denies. Because he is also an ex-cop prison will be hell for him. What's worse is that in their defense they are not allowed to mention the fact that he came into a lot of money before the allegations were made which really sucks. So she doesn't have to prove that he did actually do it but he has to prove that he didn't. What's more his elderly mother has been given about 3 months to live and this is distressing her even more. When he goes to Court next week he is likely to never see his mother alive again. The daughter is now 30 years old so it took her about 15 years to lay a complaint.

Now please don't think I am condoning this kind of behaviour. If he did what is alleged then yes he deserves to go to jail. Child molesterers are the worst kind of evil in my opinion But nothing this girl is saying rings true. The Police even noted in the case notes that he is an avid player of World of Warcraft like that proves without doubt that he is a child molesterer. It's all very bizarre. They went through his computer with a fine tooth comb looking for child porn I guess and found it as clean as a whistle. The alleged "witness" claims that Mr made him watch child porn once and also forced him to watch "snuff" movies to prove what would happen to this dude if he hurt his step daughter. Even when the ex-wife told the Police that they never owned any porn at the time they were married nor any "snuff" movies they were never beleived. Both of them are quite prudish so it doesn't seem to fit.

Anyway must be off...Going to shop today for Chrissy decorations and cheer my house up a bit. Christmas this year I want to enjoy more. We didn't really do it last year as it was our first Christmas without dad but time now to get back to enjoying it.

2 comments:

SOL's view said...

I dared. It was surprising. It sounds like a very stressful time.

Hopefully Christmas will bring a brighter outcome. I'm spending it up north with family this year, so I'm going to have to make an effort!

Easy green salad and packet ham just won't cut it this year.... :D

Colleen Barnett said...

A friend of a friend is going through similar circumstances, and sadly, all it is, is "he said" "she said". It's terribly hard to prove or disprove. I wish him luck.

Please don't feel you are unloading on us. Isn't that what I do every week? That's what your friends and readers are here for. We are your support network and will always be here for you.

love you lots xxxxx

*diesagro - it would be a shame if hubby "dies agro" from his sore knee...

I am thinking it's arthritis. My knee gave me trouble all my life, and arthritis was not diagnosed until 2006!