The week past seemed to pass in a blur. Monday I took the day off as I was feeling unwell and also feeling a little upset about my Aunty Joan having passed. I'm not sure why it has upset me so much but my MM thinks it is because I still haven't properly grieved for my dad yet which is probably true. I mean I have cried heaps but I still haven't had the gut wrenching cry that gets it all out of the system. There's just been no time. Some days I feel I am on the verge of it but then I pull myself together because I have to go to work or the family wants something or whatever. My friend from work has told me I need to take a day out and just have a sit and maybe even "talk" to dad and just let it all go. And I guess I will do that some day.
Friday was the funeral and I took that day off work as well because Mum really wanted to go and no-one else could get the time off and I wanted to go anyway. Dad would have wanted us there so in a sense we represented him as well. He loved his sister and I know she absolutely idolised her big brother. Everyone at the funeral kept coming up to us and saying how distraught my Aunt was when he passed which made us feel sadder still. She went downhill fast once he passed and she died 10 months to the day from the time my dad passed. Although she had a daughter and grandchildren and great grandchildren, she felt alone with dad gone as they often called each other and just talked about the old days and old friends who she had caught up with who wanted to pass on their regards to dad.
My aunt never left Ipswich which is where they all grew up and even the funeral director told stories of growing up as a lad and knowing my dad and sisters and their parents. Almost everyone at the funeral knew of the family so there were many stories. My aunt's 2 grandchildren are now all grown up and they tried to read the eulogy. I felt for them as I also know how damned hard it is. Poor Tahnee took 5 minutes on the podium to compose herself. She cried for the first 5 minutes trying to take a breath and read about her nan. Her brother Rahlee was beside her and he too cried when it came his turn. By this stage everyone was howling! The service was wonderful. The grandkids placed photos of their kids on her coffin, then my aunt's daughter placed a ball of yarn and a crochet hook on the coffin (my aunt never had idle hands and all of us have her crocheted rugs and doilies and face washers etc!) There was a beautiful photo of my aunts and dad back in the war years. It's always been a favourite picture of mine and so nice to see it there. Family was always so important to my aunt.
There was no wake as the immediate family were going to Mt Thomson to have a private ceremony to inter her ashes there. The rest of us mingled and talked and my biggest surprise was when an elderly gent approached me and my aunts daughter while we were talking wanting to know why "Freddie" (my dad) didn't make it. We had to tell him that my dad had passed back in June. The poor man's face fell then he told me that he was "Maxie" an old old school mate of my fathers. Now I did know about Max as dad ALWAYS talked about him and Max as kids and how they were inseparable as kids and got into so much mischief and they only parted when dad went to war. Max had signed up too but was turned down as he was too short! He is still a tiny little thing whereas my dad was so tall so people used to think it was funny to see the 2 of them together one so tall and one so short! Anyway Max and I talked a bit and I was so sad that dad couldn't have been there to see his old mate. Right up till the day he died he talked about Max and we all assumed he had already passed away. We had no idea he didn't know dad had passed as he had kept in touch with dad's sisters so we figured he would have known. Poor Max was so disappointed and I'm sure he would have gone home to have a few drinks on dad just like he did in the old days. The last thing Max said to me was that "Freddie never walked away from a fight and there was no war he wouldn't have fought in". He was very proud of my dad I think!
Saturday was quiet. Mum had her Open House and had 2 potential buyers come through the house. The first lot seemed very interested so now just have to wait to hear from the real estate people.
Sunday another very quiet day. I cleaned a little, veged out a lot and because I was still feeling very down MM went and bought me a load of choclate so we pigged out on that and watched movies together. My MM is not big on words but he knows how to comfort me and knows that sometimes saying nothing is all I want. Just having him with me and feeding me choclate is all the comfort I need! And he thinks I only want him for his body! Hah! Any man who can comfort a woman with choclate is king in my books lol. He is definately not a romantic man my MM but he knows what pushes a woman's buttons!
3 comments:
It sounds like a lovely send off. And a wonderful MM to know exactly what you needed.
t's amazing who you run into and what you find out at family funerals! Sounded like a nice service. I think you should have a really long weekend and go off to a resort at Noosa or up to a forest cabin at Maleny and chill out, relax, remember and reflect, have a few drinks for your Dad (and some more chocolate!) and a really good cry to let it all out. Then you will be ready to face the world again! love Shaz.
Oh, you are so lucky! Mine refuses to feed my chocolate addiction, unless he is being generous, like the lindt bunny he bought me for Easter - first one in 15 years mind you!
A very emotional period for you, but sadly one we must all face.
*hugs to you, honey*
**numacer** some sort of upmarket pacer pencil???
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