It's getting harder and harder to find stuff to put in these blogs...life has its moments of joy and activity and then there are the times when absolutely happens and I write stuff and then back space and think nah who wants to hear about that! This week was one of those "bleah" weeks. So let me get a cuppa and a piece of my yummy sponge cake and I'll tell you about my week...
Okay...Monday morning I had to get another blood test done. My specialist wanted me to get it done a week before I see him so I went in to QML on Saturday morning to get them done. "Have you fasted" the QML lady asks..."Um no I had cereal before I got here". "Well this is a cholestorol test and you need to have fasted otherwise the result won't be accurate" Dang! I had specifically asked the doctor if I needed to fast as previous tests I hadn't had to and he had said no it's fine. So no blood test that day. Turns out there is a QML right near the train station at work so I went in there first thing Monday morning before work and voila! All done.
Tuesday work was flat out all the way through the rest of the week. I tell you I could not wait for the weekend. I was exhausted by the time it arrived. March is a deadly time for us as we have the auditors in and the kindergartens are almost at the end of their first term plus we have our Annual General Meeting so it means I have to prepare that and compile our Annual Report which is a massive undertaking. So lots of no lunch breaks all week and working back late. Plus I am minute taker for our Board Meetings and my boss and I were exhausted by the end of that meeting as the Board Directors seemed to keep to want to keep on taking the same topic around in circles so in the end no decisions were made. My minutes are going to look like crap because they change their minds a million times so I just know some things are going to be wrong! My boss and I just looked at each other and we were like did we get all that? She was taking notes as well so we could compare what happened. Board Meeting days are always so painful and always off topic *sigh*
The weekend just gone was deadly quiet. Saturday was a beautiful sunny day and I was itching to get out but MM had to work so we decided to arrange a picnic and a drive to Mt Glorious on Sunday then go on a walk to the falls near there. So I arrnaged for Miss 21 to come with us and she said she would love to.
Sunday arrives and guess what? It's raining and it's miserable. Saturday's beautiful day was gone. I had already made oodles of yummy sandwiches and Miss 21 was at our place so it was decided there was no point going out in this weather so we had a "lounge room" picnic which was nice too. Was nice having the family together and we will arrange another weekend...hopefully one that's not wet!
On the home front mum is having trouble with Miss 16 who appears to be going through an aggressive phase. Now this is so unlike her and I am tempted to take the lead of another blogger and suggest she get counselling to talk through some stuff. She is still hurting over dad and I really do think there are still some unresolved issues.
I can't remember if I blogged that Miss 16 broke down a little while and sobbed her heart out for the first time since Dad passed. Turns out she had blamed herself for him collapsing that final time as they had a huge argument over her not helping around the house and dad had laid down the law. Miss 16 just left the house at that point and went to her friend across the road and stayed the night then the next morning dad ended up in hospital for the final time. He passed away before she got to say sorry and tell him she loved him. In hospital he knew she was there and she hugged him but they didn't speak and she thinks he died thinking she hated him. None of us knew this until recently and would explain why all last year she was doing so well then after dad died her school work went to hell and she joined a tough crowd. This year she is really trying hard again to make dad proud and she is loving doing her graphic art and photography and this is what she will do when she finishes up Year 12 this year. She is already looking at course to do etc.
Anyway she and mum are still at logger heads as her room is a complete pigsty and because mum has the house on the market she needs it to be spic and span. Miss 16's response is "well no-one has even been through yet so why bother". And it's true...no-one has even come through the house yet but some day they will. Mum has tried grounding her and saying no she can't get on the computer and no she can't go out. Mum has even hidden her laptop and mobile phone because she spends hours on that when she is not at school. But then Miss 16 has started getting a little rough with mum and at one point she lashed out at mum and pushed then grabbed her arm and twisted it demanding she give her stuff back. So yes we are worried. She always apologises profusely afterwards and mum and her both have a cry and hug but it's an everyday battle and at the moment mum is still fragile.
She is not a bad kid and generally she is very well behaved, quiet and very loving but it's like her hormones are running rampant and she gets a little out of control. This year she has moved away from her "bad example" friends and has gone back to sitting with her nicer friends. The trouble is her behaviour from last year is catching up with her.
Take the recent parent teacher meeting she had recently for example. She and mum went and nearly all her teachers raved about her saying how much she had improved and how much better her attitude was this year. Then they got to Miss 16's maths teacher and mum said it was funny as they sat opposite each other and glared at each other. Miss 16 had this teacher last year when she and a friend were being disruptive and wagging and spent most of last year in detention with this teacher. This year Miss 16 says she is trying really hard but this teacher won't get past the fact that Miss 16 was naughty last year. So Teacher is talking to mum and saying that Miss 16 is lazy and won't try and talks in class and won't ask questions if she gets stuck. Miss 16 pipes up with "That's because your class is boring". At this point mum glares at Miss 16 and says "That's your teacher you're talking to". Teacher: "So what can I do to make this class more interesting?" (in a sarcastic tone) Miss 16: "Drop dead?" (in an even more sarcastic tone). At this point mum is ready for the floor to swallow her up but the teacher is quite calm and cool and says to mum "See what I deal with?" Poor mum is horrified and can't wait to get out of there at which time she roundly gives Miss 16 an earful about respecting her teachers but as far as Miss 16 is concerned that teacher hates her and the feeling is mutual so it looks like she is failing maths this year! She loves all her other teachers and they love her so one teacher doens't seem to concern her at all. Mum did say though that the teacher was a bit of an old battle axe but at the same time couldn't condone Miss 16's behaviour either. Miss 16 did tell me that the teacher seems to keep "losing" her homework assignments and making her do them again. So maybe the teacher is getting pay back.
And so another week goes by....
3 comments:
That is terrible what Miss 16 is doing to your mum. You think she would behave better after what happened between her and your dad just before he passed. It is sad that she thinks its her fault but she should learn from it and treat your mum better. What if she hits your mum and she ends up in hospital? Miss 16 would never forget herself then. She needs to wake up to herself. If she started giving me a shove I would backhand her. Might knock some sense into her. love shaz
Sounds like Miss 16 is not dealing with the grief and guilt and in this case I would strongly recommend a Dr consult and a referral! I would suggest you have a look at www.beyondblue.org.au and some of the checklists. This might give you some ideas about her behaviour. It might not be full blown depression yet, but might offer some insight to helping her deal. :)
You may find, as we did, that it will be better for "family" counselling. Apparently our problem is not that Dobby is a naughty child, but that we fail to communicate as a family, building into resentment and hostility. Or something.
It has gotten physical with Dobby and I too on occasion (and she is not yet 13!). The room issue sadly is still an ongoing issue with us. I have no solution for that. Grounding doesn't work, taking away phones, computers, MP3 players, nothing works. Basically she is just grounded. She is not supposed to go to friends or have friend's over when her room is messy. We don't seem to be able to do anything other than that. I think on this occasion, if your mum has an open house or walk through, she will have to do it beforehand herself. That will upset miss 16 but she will have to be firm and tell her that if she won't do it, she will have to suffer mum doing it. About twice a year we (and by We I mean I) end up doing Dobby's.
good luck, honey, it's only for a few years. If she can make it through the next 3 years she will be okay.
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